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In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to an African jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) which protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, He's my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."''Well, sir, I graduated with the Sword of Honour from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the horse riding part of the Olympics. I. ”“Actually, I caught him jerkin’ it in the shower and offered to help.”“You didn’t!”“Oh, yeah, I did.” I ran my hand down her arm. “He asked if you would give me a good one for him tonight and promised to make it up to both of us later, if you’re up for it.”“Really?” The excitement at the idea made goosebumps appear on her arms. When I nodded, she continued. “You have to admit playing around with Mark beats putting up with Mason and Trevor spreading whatever we do all over school, doesn’t it?”Before I could answer, the sliding glass door opened and all four guys ran out.“Cannonball!” The water splashed up to make both of us shriek and laugh.Mark winked at us and looked way less tense than before. “I call for a rematch now that we’ve all had something to eat.”I laughed at that, considering what I’d just eaten. I could still taste his slick flavor.“Dude, you had, like, two pizza bites,” Mason complained. “You better be ready to play.”“Oh, I’m ready all right.”Mark was on fire the whole.
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